the annual christmas card

Yes, I am a sender of Christmas cards! However, these are no store-bought packs with slightly personalized messages inside! Nor are they letters updating friends and family about my life (though I have considered doing those as well, since I am pretty good at making a joke of myself). Nay, these are 6×9 inch beauties constructed with cardstock, love, and photoshop monstrosities printed at my local Walgreen’s.

I like to think the photo clerk at Walgreen’s prints out my order each year, over thirty 4×6 photos of the same horrendous image, and sheds one tear in the holiday spirit.

2012 is when this tradition began. Randy and I teamed up to fight off the Grinch.

xmas card

You’re not getting any of my goddamn presents you thief

Pretty good, pretty good. I forgot to save myself a copy of the finished card, like a FOOL, though I have a couple extra copies of the photo insert, and of course the digital file.

2013 I knew I had to up my game a bit. I decided that one 4×6 image could not capture the full majesty of what I envisioned, so I expanded to two. We had done the self-serving thing the year before. This time we rescued Santa from a Kraken, thus ensuring gifts for alllll the good little Western girls and boys of means.

2013 xmas card pt 1

I think I did a good job pasting Randy’s manly abs on that fish tail

2013 xmas card pt 2

Santa waving meekly like he wasn’t just about to get his ass swallowed by a sea monster

In order to have the two images side-by-side I needed my 6×9 card to open horizontally rather than vertically. Unfortunately, 12×12 paper cannot be cut in this manner, so I made a bunch of 6×9 pieces and hinged two together for each card. I think this went… okay?? I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the durability or appearance of these glue stick creations.

So this year I am going back to the single-image format. I’ve got a pretty good plan. I think it will be a respectable addition to the set (and trust me, befuddled friends and family, you will one day be pleased if you own a complete set!).

Tune back in around Christmas! When I can safely assume that everyone has received their cards and won’t be spoiled for the surprise, then I will post the new card on my blarg for posterity.

this is halloween

I was going to write something kind of snotty called “the core tragedy of high school” about how the main theme of high school is finding a way to fit in, and then you get to college or the workforce and the only way to get ahead is to stand out, but look in one long sentence I already said everything I need to say about that.

So instead I will feel nostalgic about Halloween, because the year finally came in which I felt no urge to dress up or go to a party. I read a very swashbuckling book and fell asleep at 9 p.m.  Is this adulthood?? Or just a messy schedule that landed Halloween on a Friday at the end of a work week full of heavy lifting? It doesn’t matter. Guess I have to have a kid now so I can revitalize all of the traditions that grow stale after *cough* 28-ish years. Marvel as I gestate wildly in order to have a dazed baby in time to wrap it in something ridiculously cute, yet still warm enough to withstand Southern California’s autumn temperatures (spoiler: about 65 degrees at dusk).

my feels!

I’m too weak to party!

The real loss is that I have so many great costumes in my closet– so many that we, in fact, have devoted half of the library closet to be Costume Closet. But with the hubby working and me so sleepy, ah well, save it for the next convention.

I think the real culprit of this pointless three-act tragicomedy was our mid-October vacation. We left and it was still the end of summer, still ass-hot, my workplace full of students just starting semester projects. We returned and OH SHIT THE HOLIDAYS ARE STARTING.

Lucky for me, my new favorite holiday is Thanksgiving! This year’s Sibling Thanksgiving theme is pretty rad, so I will happily spend the next three weeks getting our place ready.